Training for a Half-Marathon and Outdone by a Hamster
I've recently taken up running.
You might think my mentioning it is immodest. I mean, it just sounds like I'm trying to brag. One of the few purely factual sentences that drips with implied superiority when you're not even trying.
And trust me: I'm not trying.
Because running is hard. It's humbling. Precisely because it's so simple. I'm reminded of the How I Met Your Mother episode where Barney describes how you run a marathon:
Barney: Step 1: You start running. There is no Step 2.
Hilarious and brutal, because it's essentially true. Although I can't agree with the no-need-to-train part. I've taken up running because Courtney took up running, and she wants us to run a local half marathon. So we've been training.
The app Runna has been a lot of fun. It's programmed a very individualized training plan just for me. Not for us, because she's way fitter than I am. She'll need just 3km to satisfy the app overlords, but me? Nah, it’ll be 5.5km for me.
Aside: We had this cute moment (or at least I think so) where we each set up the app for ourselves while thinking of the other. She set hers up in miles despite seeing the world in kilometers. I set mine up in kilometers despite never quite remembering what the prefix stands for. We ultimately came around to doing it in kilometers because that’s how all the really cool professional runners talk about their distances.
Back to the main story: We just ran 8k on Saturday. And survived. (Shut up; it’s hard, and we’re beginners.)
In the midst of savoring that minor accomplishment (shut up again), I was laid low by learning about Mollie.
Have you heard of her? No, she didn’t break some world record or anything like that. She did something even cooler.
She ran 8K. A night. For multiple nights in a row.
Oh. And she’s a hamster.
Sean Abrams
Yeah. I know. However long she is—probably a few centimeters (keeping it metric)—she is regularly crushing a distance that I, a 6-foot tall man (we on the imperial system nailed this one, as “1.83-meter tall man“ doesn’t have the same ring to it) is struggling (remain shut up) to run a few times a week.
Her human rigged up a tiny computer to log her runs directly into Strava. It’s delightful. And discouraging. But also inspiring.
If Mollie can do it, surely I can, right? Right?!
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